So - this week I was promised a feature in an Irish magazine if I could just write an original short story (as you do) asap. If you're in Ireland, look out for Woman's Way, issue 41 or 42 in October. It concerns marshmallows. I don't usually write about marshmallows.....

but this 24 hour session was, because -

1. The book Group at the library loved The Jigsaw Maker and I loved them. Thank you, ladies - sweethearts all,

2. Instead of starting writng at 8 as I usually do, I got stuck doing emails so that by the time I got to Polishing off the Cherries, two of the characters were fed up waiting so they carried the story on by themselves. It was all I could do to keep up with them. Thanks Michael and Bernadette - writing it down's so much easier than making it up.

What a narrow but satisfying life...

So there I was, delighted at how EASY it is when the characters write the scene for you...pity I didn't stop to consider that the characters in question are, a) a fifty year old delusional spinster (in all the politically incorrect senses of the word) and b) her 19 year old gormless eejit of a nephew who couldn't write his own name unless his mammy spelt it out for him - S-L-O-W-L-Y. The Writers' group members were not impressed. They said it was too long, too wordy and worst of all - NOT FUNNY. Farcical characters are not supposed to display any depth/or leave you feeling sympathatic towards them, which is all very well except I didn't write it - they did. I wrote it down.

And I couldn't even object. Today a new writer started with the group and I didn't want to frighten her. Needn't have worried - she writes well and anyway, having heard my offer, she was probably thinking, EEEEASY, I can do better than that .

Listen, Michael and Bernadette - I'm the author, okay? You just get on with the acting.

Meg's contribution was, as ever, ripping. Wonderful. Every twist and turn takes you to where you need to be and I don't know how she does it. Her characters, who are murderers, psycopaths and criminal underworld behave impecably towards her. I have an ex priest's housekeeperand get no respect. Life's a bitch.

Mary's screenplay works. It's pefect.

Kelly pulls the heartstrings.

Ellen started today and she is in for the long haul. Good stuff coming.

If anyone ever stinks I won't say..today was good. I was the weak link.

Goodbye!

;-)

so, here's what I sent out to the selected ones in my email address book (I should have included Panda Software becasue they write to me every day, offering things - sweet)

Dear All,

This is to let you know that my third book, Soft Voices Whispering, is launching on

Friday 13th October at

Weybridge Books, Church Street, at

7pm.

According to the new owner (Armande Wadsworth) there will be delicious wine and nibbles. I plan to call/see/stalk you individually* over the next two weeks to invite you personally but as I will be in Ireland on and off during that time, it's more than likely I'll miss someone and then have to make the last minute embarrassed call...and you'll be booked that night already. If you are anyway, we might bring the time forward to 6.30 - let me know if that'd suit you better.

You are all warmly (and eventually individually) invited - please let me know so that I can give Armande a list and he will put aside a glass and a sausage, or even something exotic on a cracker for you.

I look forward to hearing from you, and will hopefully see you on the night...

******************************************************************************************************************************************************

So now, through no fault of mine the font had become tiny and I can't fix it. Call this a Eugene MacNamara moment. He's a character in Polishing off the Cherries who's just had a nasty accident by slipping forward on the crossbar of his bike. This is what happened - his font shrunk - VERY painful.

I have not been on abicycle this week - I'm goingto Ireland in a quest to become ridiculously falous there and to that end will meet some PR people on Tuesday morning who Google wonderfully - I'm looking forward to meeting them - more on this later.

Last weekend was a family wedding in a beautiful village called Glynn in Co Wexford. My Cousin scrubs up very well - I hadn't realised she was beautiful. Her sister is beautiful too - pale, delicate, six months pregnent, with the kind of serentity you'd pay a fortune for if you could bottle it.

And speaking of bottles - I tried Creme de la Mere serum on the way back - topped by the cream and eye lotion. The girl insisted it would rejuvenate my tired skin (had she offered it in a glass with ice and a lemon she'd have made a sale). Have to say I looked like a teenager by the time we hit Heathrow (shiny - it hadn't absorbed). If I have another go this weekend, that should cover the cost of the flights.....is teh price a marketing thing - you think you've bouth something worthwhile becasue you had to take out a mortgage just to have one dab! i hope so - I love the idea. And where does the 'mere' come into it? Has anyone read teh list of ingredients???

Tomorrow night i go to a reunion, Brigidine convent Goresbridge 30 years. How wierd. 30 years. You can imagine the sucking in of stomachs (and the intravenous shots of Creme de la Mere) that'll go on before that one!!

There was a Writers meeting yesterday - too long to tell you now but goodness, what talent. I read first to get it over with after last time and it went down well. Good. It was poor Eugene's accident that swung it. He'll be using his credentials as earrings if I don't find a medical person who can advise me on the prognosis for a fellow with such an affliction.

And such a ridiculously small font........

So this is how the next week stands....

Wed.11th - collect parents from Heathrow...workshop in afternoon with Byfleet Writers Group who have begun to show signs of having a couple of seriously talented (and one very quirly) writers. Bett's running account of her battle with the ferocious O is perfect. She's a natural comic. We need to harness this talent and keep her writing.

Fri.13th - Launch Soft Voices Whispering at Weybridge Books at 7pm. Fortunately, I won't be the only celebrity present....Meg Gardiner of Even Delaney Fame will be wowing the crowds; Mary Albanese, scriptwriter extraordinaire and Susie Vereker, on the way up, up, up - that should make it an outing worth the while.....

Mon. 16th - Workshop at Guildford Festival....this I love. Workshops always throw up wonderful writing from the most unexpected people and the look on their faces when they read what they've written and realise that THIS IT GOOD is the high point.

Tues. 17th - Readers' Day at Guildford Festival - I share a stage with Nicholas Evans and Patrick Gale. This should be interesting.....more on this later

Wed. 18th - reading at Methvens Bookshop in Cobham with Meg Gardiner, noon.....what a bash! We could be the new Butch and Sundance (if there's a tall one and a short one, hey, we're in there).

Wed. evening .....LARGE G&T and snooze in front of the fire - regardless of outside temperatures.....

Which leaves us with the obvious question: what on earth does writing have to do with any of this? When do you get to write? It's been over a week sinceI left Bernadette and Michael sharing a meal and a delusion or two. God knows what they'll have conjured up before I get back....

Okay - so you're two weeks away from your fifth hardback - tell me again, who is it you're jealous of???

Is there a Tater fan club? She could call it 'SITTING PRETTY'

or WADS and WEDGIES (that's the full lingerie set).

Oh dear, hunger induced insanity - lunch beckons.

What happened? Why can't I negotiate this thing?